


You want to be a hero, Tommy?

by Steph2002



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Dream Team SMP Lore (Video Blogging RPF), Dream apologists this one ain't for you, Dream is a manipulator, Hurt No Comfort, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Tommy is a little broken ngl, no beta we die like l'manburg, o7 for Tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29799249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph2002/pseuds/Steph2002
Summary: A glimpse into Tommy's thoughts and experiences over the years, from the L'manburg revolution until his last moments.Or: Tommy is a scared and broken kid that never got the love he needed.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	You want to be a hero, Tommy?

**Author's Note:**

> I was really not doing too good after today's lore stream and felt the need to write something as a tribute to Tommy's character. I know it's probably pretty likely he'll come back in some capacity (whether he gets revived or as GhostInnit) but this still felt like such a big deal. Tommy's death just hurt. o7

Tommy was nine years old when he followed his brother to war. He had dreams back then. Dreams of grandeur and fame, of his story being told for centuries. He idolized Wilbur and wanted nothing more than to make him proud. So of course he would follow him in creating his new empire, even if it meant fighting against one of the most powerful and scary people he had ever had the misfortune to meet.

And Tommy fought well. He pushed down all his fear and made his brother proud. Having Tubbo at his side certainly helped. It was easier to deal with fear and pain when there was someone his own age he could count on. He loved Wilbur, but the then seventeen year old couldn't always understand what it was like to be a kid in the middle of a war. Tubbo understood Tommy in a way no one else did. The two might have been a little too codependent, but with everyone too busy worrying about defending a fledgling nation against a demigod and his minions, nobody quite saw what the two were dealing with.

It was a little different after the final control room. Tommy still remembered the fear he felt when Eret betrayed them, the urge to grab Tubbo and run. He remembered how cold everything felt before he respawned, and the tears that flowed down his face from how much his entire body _ached._ Wilbur was more careful with Tommy, and even Tubbo, after that. But Tommy didn't mind. It made him feel cared for. Maybe his brother saw him as more than a soldier after all.

But Tommy still wanted to fight. He was a warrior and a hero at heart, and he wanted to protect his new nation. So he duelled Dream. Wilbur was upset about it at first, but agreed nonetheless. Tubbo took more convincing, but eventually the ten year old settled down enough to let Tommy do what, in his mind, he had to. He didn't expect Dream's arrow to find a new home in his heart. He didn't expect to feel that deep coldness again so soon. He didn't want to experience the aches of respawning twice before his age even reached double digits. Yet that's exactly what happened.

Later, as Vice President to a new nation, Tommy sometimes thought about everything he had been through, and thought it was unfair. But he knew better than to complain. It wasn't as if anyone (other than maybe Tubbo) would care anyway, and even if they did, there was nothing to be done. So instead he would spend sleepless night after sleepless night wandering around the city, admiring the work he and his brother had put into it.

After the election, when he was cast out to Pogtopia, he couldn't hide the nightmares from Wilbur anymore. Tommy was constantly on edge, and he knew his brother heard him crying at night. It was a miracle Wilbur didn't think Tommy was broken. Instead, his brother chalked it up to being separated from the city, and from his best friend, for the first time. Somehow, despite not wanting his mental state to be seen, that made Tommy feel worse. 

As Wilbur began to lose his mind, Tommy realized that idols are never worth the trouble. If he hadn't idolized his broken brother when he was a kid, he wouldn't have lost two of his lives at the age of nine. It made him a little bitter, but at the same time he couldn't stay mad. Wilbur's twin, Techno, had found their cave and was helping them plan to retake the city. It almost felt like they were a family again, something he hadn't felt in years. Maybe things could still end up okay.

At least that's what he thought, until Techno took one of Tubbo's lives. Tommy was livid. His best friend didn't deserve being made to decorate his own execution unknowingly, and for Tommy's own older brother to have done it was just adding insult to injury. Tommy had hated Schlatt already, but after the festival he was livid. He swore to himself on that day that given the chance, he would end Schlatt himself. 

Unfortunately for Tommy, in a true reflection of his spite and unwillingness to give anyone the satisfaction, Schlatt had a heart attack. Tommy was okay with that though, because they had taken L'manburg back. It was the only place that ever felt like home to him. Tubbo would be the new President, with Tommy at his side, and everything would be good once again. They could heal. They could-

When the TNT went off, Tommy couldn't think for a solid minute. His mind was replaying the scenes of his nightmares, from when he was nine and Dream lit up the newly built city the first time. By the time he got a grip, he was able to make out Wilbur standing at the edge of the crater that was once a great city, laughing. Techno, his other brother, had summoned the wither, and was actively destroying everything that was left. In that moment, Tommy realized that family didn't mean anything. He had idolized his brothers, and all it had ever brought him was pain, suffering, and betrayal. He didn't want this feeling anymore. As if to punctuate his thoughts, he watched as their father killed Wilbur in front of him. As Wilbur's last life faded away, so too did Tommy's notions of loyalty because of blood.

When Tubbo put him on probation, Tommy could almost understand. He did burn down a (somewhat) innocent man's house for no reason, after all. But when he caved to Dream's demands of exile, Tommy felt like he was seeing yet another brother betray him. He might not have been thinking's logically at the time, but he was upset anyway. Tubbo, the one person he had always been able to rely on, the boy he saw as more of a brother to him than Wilbur or Techno ever were, was sending him away from the city he had helped build. Even as tears gathered in Tubbo's eyes as he stated his decision, Tommy didn't feel anything. He was numb.

If you asked Tommy to recall anything about his time in exile, he wouldn't be able to give you specifics. Maybe the trauma made him forget, or maybe each day was so bland that they all blended into one, but either way he didn't remember much. All he remembered was the feeling of hopelessness that had overtaken him, the pure defeat of watching his items burn day after day, and the way he had convinced himself by the end of it that Dream was his friend. He had been close to ending it all when he found Techno's cabin. For old times' sake, he decided to stay with him for a little bit. And when he protected Tommy from Dream, he decided to stay a while longer.

But eventually, given time away from Dream's manipulations to clear his head, Tommy realized that even now, he really only wanted to be at Tubbo's side. It was always the two of them against the world from the beginning, and Dream had tried his best to tear them apart. Techno didn't take it well, but Tommy didn't really care. He was beyond the point of needing blood relations anymore. He was finally back in his city with his best friend once again.

At least, until Dream and Techno decided to team up and blast the city to bedrock. The explosions were stronger that the previous ones combined, leaving truly nothing behind of the once great city of L'manburg. Tommy felt a part of himself die with his city on that day. Everything he had fought for his while life, gone in the span of a few minutes with some well-placed TNT. When he and Tubbo huddled together on their bench that night to try to get some sleep, Tommy let his tears fall freely, in homage to all the pain he had gone through that was now for nothing at all.

A few weeks later, when Dream summoned the two of them for one final battle, Tommy was expecting it to be the end for them. He stayed optimistic for Tubbo's sake, but inside he was prepared for death (or worse.)Being brought down to the vault and seeing his discs, along with items precious to everyone else around them, Tommy felt sick. There was only one way they would make it out of this alive and he had no idea if it would work. He was panicking by the time Dream asked him to say his final goodbyes to Tubbo. He couldn't let Tubbo die, not while there was still a chance. He couldn't breathe when Tubbo looked him the eyes only to say, "It's about time, anyway." But just as he watched his best friend turn to to face certain death, a miracle happened.

The relief that washed over Tommy as the group he contacted all made it through the portal right on schedule was unmatched. He watched as Dream panicked, powerless for the first time. He couldn't even find it in him to feel guilty about the sick sense of pride and satisfaction that washed over him as _he_ got to burn _Dream's_ things, giving the once-feared demigod a taste of his own medicine. He unleashed seven years of pain and suffering into his attacks on Dream, taking two of his lives effortlessly before stopping himself. Prison would be better for the bastard anyway. Tommy wanted Dream to suffer alone the way he had all these years.

Now, Tommy was trapped in a prison cell. He had come to say goodbye to Dream once and for all, only to be trapped for over a week due to a security issue. He couldn't stand this place. The walls seemed to always be closing in on him, and the lava somehow both beckoned him and frightened him at the same time. It felt like hell. And to top it all off, Dream was next to him the whole time, trying to get back inside his head. Tommy needed to get out of there, but was trapped, and it all came to a head when Dream seemingly decided Tommy wasn't entertaining enough anymore.

As Dream beat Tommy to death with his bare hands, Tommy begged and pleaded for mercy. He wanted to stay alive just a little longer. He wanted to see Tubbo again. He wanted to finish his hotel. He wanted to do so much, to finally live a normal and happy life. Instead, he was begging a man who had caused him so much pain for his life as he slowly died in a hell-like cage. It was the opposite of everything he had ever wanted.

Tommy had always imagined he would die a glorious death, on the battlefield with his story of sacrifice to be told for generations. He always wanted to be the hero, and as he took his final breathe with only his enemy to see it, Tommy remembered one last thing from his life. A random memory, nothing more than a scrap, from when he was barely 4 years old: Phil, his father, reading him an old Greek story, and when Tommy had asked why the hero died sad and alone, Phil responded, "That's the way stories go sometimes. Being a hero doesn't mean you get a happy ending, Tommy. It means you make the sacrifice so that others can."

So Tommy smiled a little as he slumped to the floor of the cell, dying for the final time at the age of sixteen.Maybe, just maybe, he _was_ a hero after all. 


End file.
